EASTER 2013!

He is Risen! He is Risen INDEED!!

As we celebrated His resurrection today we focused on Mary Magdalene's experience at the Tomb. Now I've always felt a connection to the Mary who followed Jesus, both the sister of Martha and Mary Magdalene. Of course I thought that Mary Magdalene was the woman who washed and annoited Jesus' feet with her tears and expensive perfume, but I have recently learned that that woman is unnamed and believed to be a different Mary now anyway. Either way, I know that Mary Magdalene knew Jesus as an intimate friend who delivered her from seven demons (Mark 16:9). She stayed with Him at the cross well after all His male disciples but John had left. And she was the first to see Him resurrected! I love this story! In fact, a few years back I wrote a rendition of this story as though I took her place. It opened my eyes to the intimate moment when Jesus calls her by name and she recognizes Him for who He is! I imagine she ran to Him, fell to His feet, and began hugging His legs - an image that His words almost confirm when He said, "Don't cling to me!" Anyway, here's my rendition of John 20:11-18:

I woke with a start, I knew immediately that I needed to go to Jesus and pray. I threw on my tunic and headed toward His tomb. I still could not believe He was gone, I guess the impact of His death had not fully struck me. When I arrived at His tomb I was stunned to see the stone rolled away and no one standing guard! I stepped into the dark, dank cave and saw only the cloth He had been wrapped within. Who would do such a thing?! Who would not only steal away into my Lord’s tomb, but strip Him of His burial garments and take His body elsewhere?! I ran quickly to tell the disciples of this desecration and soon found two. I told them that someone had taken our Lord from His tomb and left only His robes, I told them I didn’t know where they possibly could have put Him. We headed straight back to the tomb and the disciples entered and found the linen and burial cloth folded separately and believed that He was gone, not yet knowing that He must have risen from the dead. They left to tell the others, but I stayed behind.

My grief was suddenly too much to handle and I began to weep and longed to be close to Jesus, so I bent into the tomb. I was instantly blinded by two beautiful and magnificent angels. They asked why I was crying and I told them that my Lord had been taken from His tomb, that I did not know where He was. With this I turned and saw a man I did not recognize. He also asked why I was crying, who I was looking for. I thought that he was the gardener and might know where my master was; so I told him to tell me if he knew, that I would bring Him back by myself if I had to! But the man looked at me in a familiar way and said, “Jessica." And I knew it was Him, I cried out to him, "Teacher!" and grasped Him around the middle. He had risen; I knew at once that He was back and alive forever! That I would never have to go looking for Him again, because He is always with me!! But He told me to go and tell the others that He was returning to His father and ours, to His God and ours. So I went at once and told the others this great news!

Day 6 of Holy Week: In the Waiting...

I run to you when I need love,
I run to you when I feel alone,
I run to you when I've nowhere else,
When my lips need kissed,
When my future lover's missed,
When my knees are weak
And my heavy heart's sick.
You are all I seek
All I need;
You are the only one
Who can really help.
Help me as I long to express
A love I've yet to know,
A love I can't wait to see grow!
Waiting...
That's the hard part.
Fill me with your love
And give me strength & patience
As time seeks to tear my heart.

Day 5 of Holy Week: Good Friday

So this year we had another Service of Darkness to commemorate Good Friday. The only light in the sanctuary came from candles lining our altars and centered in front of a cross adorned with a whip, a bag of 30 silver pieces, three large nails, a sign in Hebrew, a crown of thorns, and palm branches. We listened as passages were read and songs about the cross and Jesus' sacrifice were played, taking us from the table at the Last Supper, to the Garden of Gethsemane, to the Courts, and finally to Golgotha. With each passage/song combo a candle was extinguished, making the darkness more present, ever heavier. And finally the candle in front of the cross was covered with a glass topper and we watched as the fire died out. Now, I was tired after a long day at work and I was distracted off and on by the people around me, but as I watched that candle dim from exhaustion I was overwhelmed by sorrow over Christ's suffering for me. And just as the candle went dark, pastor ended service with, "Easter is coming, but for now, go home. Jesus is dead."

That statement stuck in my head and my heart for the night... Jesus is dead. Praise God that He rose again, but He died first. And I can only imagine the anguish His followers felt as the hope He created was questioned by His death! It's so easy for us to forget or breeze by the fact that He died because we live in His resurrection daily; in fact just after this service a large group of us went to dinner and laughed and fellowshiped together. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I sometimes wonder if we avoid the thought of His death because of our part in it - He had to die for us or we could never call God Father. Maybe it's because I'm an artist, and I've been told we are often more deeply effected by sorrow and loss, but I've always been completely heartbroken over His death. I cannot go to a Good Friday service or watch a depiction of Jesus on the cross without becoming overcome with emotion and tears. Of course, I know that I'm not the only one and that we cannot forget that He rose to give us life; I just want to remember His sacrifice and how deeply He suffered to free us from our sin!

Day 4 of Holy Week: Our Part

Our youth pastor started a study of the book of James last night. Now, James can be a tough book as it is very much about not just saying and believing, but doing. James is the one who told us "Faith without works is dead," after all. This goes back to what we were learning at Youth-a-Rama - it's a daily sacrifice. We cannot just say we are free from sin now that we know Christ, we must start living a life that proves we are free from sin! And how often do we share stories about what we've seen? Whether it's a movie, an awesome play during a football game, or a public marriage proposal, we love to share the experiences that move us to admiration and joy. So, why are we not sharing about the love and grace of Christ?! Why are we not shouting from the rooftops about His free gift of salvation and how to get it? This is what I think James was getting at, he wants us to live lives so wrapped up in Christ that it's only natural to lead others to Him. And that is my prayer not only for myself, but for our youth, and for you today.

I need your help again!

Well, I told them to go forward with my application as one for Leadership & Ministry training. I decided to go with this idea because I do still feel called to Australia and they actually have a Youth elective that I could focus on. So because I am going forward with the application, I wanted to promote my crowd funding site today - I could really use some help paying for tuition and fees, along with the costs of getting over there (like a student visa and plane ticket). And, unfortunately, I have not had much luck with scholarships yet. Anyway, here's a link to my GoFundMe page, please look it over and contribute, even if it's just your prayers.

http://www.gofundme.com/all-things-are-possible

Day 3 of Holy Week: Another hurdle

I finally heard back about my audition! They did not accept it, so now I have a couple of options: allow my application to go through for the Leadership & Ministry stream of study and, while taking those classes, take some voice lessons and re-audition for Worship Leadership in person next year; take the next six months or so to take voice lessons here at home and re-audition over video again while seriously saving up; or change my course of action altogether - find a full time job here in Texas, look for work in NYC, go back to school for business training... It's tough because I still feel led out there, but I never saw myself as a minister/pastor so the idea of studying to be one is a little frightening, no matter how long and intense the training (the first year is more just about equipping you for your calling, whatever that may be). But, this could just be another hurdle on my path as a Worship Leader as I have no formal training and have been wanting to pursue some anyway. Please pray for me as I try to decide what course of action to take. My only hope and desire is to be in His will wherever I go, whatever I do.

Day 2 of Holy Week: His Promise for More

As a twenty-eight year old, single woman who's never even been kissed, I often struggle with my longing for a husband, for someone to love and be loved by. This desire always makes me think of the promise in Psalm 37:4: "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires." So, as my emotions spilled onto the page I was reminded of His promise to answer that longing!

Promise for More
How can my lips know the feel of those they've never touched?
How can my jaw miss fingers that have never lingered there?
And why does my hair desire hands that have never run though?

Oh Lord, you are enough!
But this testifies your promise for more.
This deep desire is part of my being;
In fact, I know it's your doing.
You placed this desire in my heart,
I pray for patience as I wait
For my love to finally play his part.

Day 1 of Holy Week: Faith vs. Feeling

The other day when I was looking at quotes about sacrifice, I came across a great one by Elisabeth Elliot about faith... On this Monday morning, when I'm still waiting for an answer about my application to school in Sydney, I'll leave you with that one and few more about faith versus feelings.

"Faith is not an instinct. It certainly is not a feeling - feelings don't help much when you're in the lions' den or hanging on a wooden Cross. Faith is not inferred from the happy way things work. It is an act of will, a choice, based on the unbreakable Word of a God who cannot lie, and who showed us what love and obedience and sacrifice mean, in the person of Jesus Christ." - Elisabeth Elliot

"Though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not." - CS Lewis

"You should not believe your conscience and your feelings more than the word which the Lord who receives sinners preaches to you." - Martin Luther

"All the great temptations appear first in the region of the mind and can be fought and conquered there. We have been given the power to close the door of the mind. We can lose this power through disuse or increase it by use, by the daily discipline of the inner man in things which seem small and by reliance upon the word of the Spirit of truth. It is God that worketh in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure. It is as though He said, 'Learn to live in your will, not in your feelings.'" - Amy Carmichael

"But when the cross is working deeply a believer comes to know himself. He realizes how undependable are his ideas, feelings and desires." - Watchman Nee

Lent, Day 40: Hosana! Hosana!!

Jesus' arrival to Jerusalem, in the midst of an enormous crowd, on a donkey, with palm branches spread before Him, is often referred to as the triumphant entry. I love this description! It implies that He's already won the victory, that He knew what was coming and didn't hesitate on the way in, that, though He was human, He had the faith to go where He knew He wasn't welcome. What an amazing amount of faith that must of taken! I cannot imagine not only entering a place where I knew people were plotting my death, but, once there, over turning tables and rebuking their behavior! What a testimony to us as well - we are to do this in every day life; we are to over turn people's lifestyles and help Him expose and teach them; He asked us to tell them about a different way to live, a way full of love and grace, His way!!

Lent, Day 39: Sacrifice

Yesterday's post has me thinking about sacrifice. His was so great, so powerful, and all He asks in return is that we live like Him, accepting His love and help, and trusting that His Word is truth and His will is what's best for us! Yes this requires a daily sacrifice on our part, we must allow our wishes and the wishes of the world around us to die so that His will may reign in our life and in our hearts, but it seems a small price to pay. Anyway, here are some great quotes about sacrifice:

"Such was God's original love for man that He was willing to stoop to any sacrifice to save him; and the gift of a Saviour was the mere expression of that love."  - Albert Barnes

"Unless we are willing to pay the price, and sacrifice time and attention and what appear legitimate or necessary duties, for the sake of the heavenly gifts we need not look for a large experience of the power of the heavenly world in our work." - Andrew Murray

"If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him." - C.T. Studd

"If a commission by an earthly king is considered an honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice?" - David Livingston

"Discipline, for the Christian, begins with the body. We have only one. It is this body that is the primary material given to us for sacrifice. We cannot give our hearts to God and keep our bodies for ourselves." - Elisabeth Elliot

"Don't ever think that there are many ways to the Divine. Jesus is the one qualified mediator, the only qualified sacrifice, and the only qualified savior." - Erwin Lutzer

Lent, Day 38: Reasons to Celebrate!

So, today is my sister's birthday, and I love celebrating her life and loving on her. In fact, her birthday, so close to Psalm Sunday, got me thinking about another birthday we all celebrate... I love that Christmas and Easter are so connected. You would not, could not have one without the other. And the idea of celebrating Christ's birth without recognizing His death and resurrection astounds me. But so many people do this - they give gifts and light trees in December, but barely flinch as the weather changes and chocolate bunnies appear. Then you have the people who think Easter is about coloring and hunting eggs and eating candy, when it's so much more than that!! We're celebrating Christ's life on Easter as much as we are on Christmas, for without His innocent life we would still be bound to the law. Because of His sacrifice we are made right and connected to the Father on a level the law could never achieve! And because He overcame death and hell, we are given the authority and power to overcome them as well! What amazing reasons to celebrate!!

Lent, Day 37: God is good... All the time!

So, I usually read the Word before bed, but the past couple of nights I’ve been extra tired and skipped that part of my routine. When I did this last night I knew it was the wrong thing to pass over, I knew He wanted to speak to me, but I didn’t even last long enough to pray – I was out like a light! However, God is good, ALL the time!! He wanted to speak to me through His Word and today as I skimmed my Facebook newsfeed I came across these three verses among my friend's updates and they touched my heart as they reminded me of His faithful, loving heart for me! I am so grateful to have such an awesome God whose Word is so alive!!

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. - Lamentations 3:21-23 (NLT)

I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will answer you. You will seek me, and you will find me because you will seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:11-13 (GNB)

I will bless the person who puts his trust in me. He is like a tree growing near a stream and sending out roots to the water. It is not afraid when hot weather comes, because its leaves stay green; it has no worries when there is no rain; it keeps on bearing fruit. - Jeremiah 17:7-8 (GNT)

Lent, Day 36: I Stand Waiting

I'm a little lost in my own head today, so I'm going back to that old journal - it's so full of little gems! ;)

I Stand Waiting
I'm stuck in this high tower...
Just waiting for my valiant sire.
I look to you in this dark hour;
You are my phoenix, my fire!
I need comfort, deep & true;
I lift my eyes & wait for you!

Lent, Day 35: Everlasting

Well, I wanted to share another amazing worship song with you today, but for some reason it is not allowing me to embed the video... Here are the lyrics and a link to the video. I hope it speaks to you as it did to me, especially while considering the question "What fills you?"

http://youtu.be/RPrK3FP9Yrs

From the Inside Out by Hillsong United
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Lent, Day 34: Let your light shine

We ended this amazing weekend with another great message from Cody Hodges. It was brief, but it was good. In it he reminded us that we are called to be missionaries. (I like what J. John said about missionaries not being people who cross the sea, but who see the cross.) But being a missionary is not all about evangelizing with our words, it also has to do with how we act. The Bible has no "sinner's" prayer, Jesus just tells us to repent. And "repent" literally means to turn around - so we are walking one way, doing things a certain way, until we meet Jesus and we make a 180 degree turn and start walking with Him, doing things His way. Cody told us that as Christians we are to look and act different from the world. He gave an example about Krispy Kreme and their "Hot Now" sign. Everyone knows that when that sign is lit you can not only order fresh donuts, but you can even get a free, fresh from the glaze shower, donut! So if you see that sign lit up, you just might stop in for a fresh taste. Well, as believers we are to reflect the light of Christ - is your light shining? Do people know they can stop by for a fresh taste of Christ's love?

Lent, Day 33: What fills you?

The Holy Spirit continued to use Cody to speak directly to my heart on Saturday night... He reminded us that God wants to fill us - He wants to fill us up with His Holy Spirit and completely satisfy us. But so many of us put our faith and hope in things of this world to fill us up, even though we know the Bible tells us they won't last. When Christ comes back all the things of this world will be destroyed forever, so why do we continue to look to them for fulfillment? Cody used the example of the woman at the well (find her story in John 4); she is a prime example of someone searching for fulfillment. This woman obviously thought she could find it with a man, so she went from man to man, husband to husband, never finding true satisfaction, true wholeness. So, Jesus exposes her incompleteness to her and tells her that He can fill her forever, that His satisfaction is not of the moment, but eternal! What a revelation! There truly is nothing and no one in this world who can fill you up and satisfy your soul like Christ!!

Lent, Day 32: Do you want to be healed?

The second night of YAR Cody Hodges spoke to us about how God wants to heal us. He basically waits for us to ask and He's right there ready and willing to make us whole! And, as an athlete, Cody has been healed from many physical injuries, but Friday night he was talking about the emotional hurts we carry. God sees those scars to our heart and He longs to remove them. But the devil likes to prey upon us when we slip up; when we go back to that comfortable sin, he likes to bring it up again and again and tells us that God wouldn't forgive us for that, that particular slip is just too much... But that is a blatant lie. God's grace covers us if we repent!

Of course, we cannot just ask for forgiveness and not allow Him to change us. Cody gave the example of the man Jesus healed at the pool at Bethesda in John 5:1-9. This passage tells the story of a man who was lame for 38 years! He sat by a pool with supposed healing powers, but was never able to or helped to get into the pool at the right time. When Jesus came passing through He asked this man, "Do you want to be healed?" You would think that the man's answer would be a swift, "YES!" but he answers with excuses as to why he wasn't healed already. How often do we do this? Jesus is asking if we'd like to be healed, but we go on carrying our emotional baggage and giving into familiar temptations because we're afraid of how much we'd change if we just let Him do His work in us! But Jesus longs to tell us to "Pick up our mat and walk!" So, how would you answer Him today - He's asking "Do you want to be healed?"

Lent, Day 31: Surrender

I love that when the Holy Spirit is trying to get something through to you, He brings it up again and again! For me lately, it's the idea of letting go, or surrender as our speaker this weekend expressed it. Cody Hodges spoke to us about how we cannot save ourselves. No matter how hard we try or how much we want to, we just cannot accomplish salvation on our own. Only God can do that for us!!

But what happens after we're saved? Isn't life supposed to change? Here's where the surrender comes into play - we have to give it all to Him, allow Him complete control of our lives in order to change. Our very identity has to get lost in Him! We are called to be imitators of Christ (Ephesians 5:1), but not cheap imitations of Him. And Christ's identity was in the Father, not in His miraculous works or His friends, but in His Father. Cody reminded us that we are all in process, and that we will be till the day we join heaven's ranks. So it takes daily surrender; it's not a one time, end all event - just as a marriage only begins at the wedding, so our relationship and growth in Christ only starts with salvation! He ended the first night with a great question: instead of trying harder, why not trust more? Isn't that why we hold on to things, because we don't trust Him with them? What an eye-opening question!

Lent, Day 30: I'm running to your arms...

So, it's that time of year again... Today started our annual youth convention - Youth-A-Rama! We have 13 teens with us this year, so we have two sponsors for the guys and two of us for the girls. Please pray for all of us, that it would be an amazing experience with God for each teen (and sponsor), that the teens would be safe as they play basketball and flag-football, that He would fill them with courage as they perform, and that we don't all drive each other completely crazy!! ;)

Anyway, in service tonight we sang one of my favorite worship songs that I seem to only hear here at YAR! I guess I'll have to purchase it... Here's a link to a video with the lyrics, I hope you watch & enjoy it as much as I do! http://youtu.be/mMknfsWrzN8

Lent, Day 29: Called to Freedom

All I have today is this passage from Galatians that really says it all and makes you think...

"For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence, but through love become slaves to one another. For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" - Gal. 5:13-14 (NRSV)

Lent, Day 28: G.O.S.P.E.L. - Propaganda

This is an amazing video about the Gospel of Christ and what it means for us! I hope you'll watch and enjoy!

Lent, Day 27: Refinement

Refinement
What can I say?
I need it again today...
Throw me back into the fire
Clear out this muck & mire.
I need your love
So I can rise above!

Lent, Day 26: All about Trust

A few thoughts on trust from what I've been taught... Trust is not a passive thing, you have to take a step toward Him. Take the leap and He will meet you! Trust by doing good and by committing everything to God, including and especially the desires of your heart.

And some thoughts from great minds...

"Believe in Him and not trust in Him? You might as well say, the Jews did love Him when they nailed Him to the cross." - Anthony Farindon

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." - Corrie Ten Boom

"Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation." - Elton Trueblood

Lent, Day 25: An oldie, but a goodie - from that old journal again. ;)

Firebird
I am a phoenix,
I am a bird consumed by fire,
But I am not the fire.
No, you are the one
Consuming me.
You are the fire,
I am just the bird,
The creature you refine.
And all I can call mine
Is my love for you.
The reason I grow
And allow this flame to start
Is that I long for you
To consume my heart!

Lent, Day 24: Seeking...

I desperately want you, for you fulfill your promises and offer true love and give blessings from above! I thank you for all these things and more - for making me, me and giving me the chore of discovering that you are you and your word is faithful and true. Thank you for making things complicated and confusing, for allowing us to rant and be frustrated as we uncover more of you. Thank you for being responsible, for paying the price, becoming the sacrifice. Without that I wouldn't be able to talk to you so freely or to ask you things directly. Without that we would still be ruled by laws and be ever fearful of death's unclenching jaws. Now we are free to know you and make you known, we are free to talk and yell and moan, and, best of all, to not fear the great unknown. Lord, I want you more than anything else because you want to know me above all else.

Lent, Day 23: Seek & you will find

More insight from a guest speaker named Sy Rogers. (This is why it's a good idea to keep notes - you get new insight when you go back and reread!)

Sy talked about how it's not really the existence of God that keeps getting called into question, it's His character. But we are limited on what we can know about God. And it's not like He's yelling at us, "you'd better trust me!!" Instead, He asks us, "learn about me?" He is deliberately mysterious, but He tells us if we seek, we will find. He hides things and covers them so that we may dig them up. His mystery invokes investigation. And our pursuit of Him is proof of our desire! For you can never find or have what you are not willing to pursue. Sy also points out that God tells us in scripture that His thoughts, His ways are above ours and therefore they confuse and frustrate us as they seem frightening and unpredictable. But, you CAN trust His character and His love for you. Here he quoted Corrie Ten Boom: "Faith is trusting God is good when you have reason to believe otherwise." Next Sy surprised me by telling us to blame God - you're going to anyway! And He will be responsible for both what and who He is and for your path. In fact, Jesus dying on the cross was Him taking responsibility; He owned up and fixed things. Lastly he reminded us that God is nice to us, He does not treat us as we deserve. For this he referenced Psalm 103 and Jeremiah 15:19 which both speak to God's love and redemptive nature!

Lent, Day 22: Letting Go

Apparently that old journal is full of goodies. ;)

Letting Go!
I have given up the driver's seat,
I no longer want to steer.
All I seem to do is drive nowhere.
For the most part
I make a kind of art
Out of making plans
And not letting go!
I go & go, and drive a wedge
Never thinking to give it up,
To let go and move aside,
To hand you the wheel & the keys.
What a difference it's made
Just to sit and talk,
To allow for help on this long walk.
You know where we're going
For you made the map.
And for now I'll sit in your lap
As you hold me safe
For this dangerous stretch
And keep me strong for the next!

Lent, Day 21: Know Jesus & make Him known

I was looking through an old journal again and I came across an entry of notes from a Sunday in New York when J. John was visiting. His message that morning syncs with the message of Stewardship/Evangelism that God's been teaching me recently through our revival and Ps. Zack the past couple Sundays. Anyway, here's what J. John had to say:

* A missionary is not someone who crosses the sea, but someone who sees the cross.

* Reach the world by reaching your world - cultivate the relationships you've already got.
       1. Pray intentionally for them - talk to God so much about them and it will be easy to talk to them about Him!
       2. Care for them (Matt. 5:14) - convey the message through presence; a lighthouse makes no noise, but it's seen.
       3. Share the good news (2 Cor. 9:6) - sow the seeds of the fruits of the Spirit and feed people on an as need basis.

* Your friends should be able to say: "My friend built a bridge from him to me and Jesus walked over it!"

Lent, Day 20: A little more about me

I found this in a journal from last year and thought it would be an appropriate post on a day when I have a fitting in a few hours. :)

I really liked what one lady on season 10 of Project Runway claimed to be. She said she was a "non-fashionista fashionista" because she designed for her aesthetic and if you didn't get it, move on, basically. I love the new term, non-fashionista fashionista, but not for her reasons. I am one because I love fashion, but it is not my life. I am one because I do not design for the masses and do size 00 runway shows, but I design for all women and hope all shapes and sizes will want to/be able to model my pieces! I have been told time and time again that as a plus size woman, I should design plus size clothing, but it's not about that, I'm not about that. I design with the individual in mind because every person (I just have a heart specifically for fellow women) is affected by what they wear and needs to know they are beautiful. They need to know and experience their specific and personal beauty so that they can walk confidently and be comfortable in their skin. That is why I do what I do. And that is why I'm a non-fashionista fashionista, because my designs are every bit about the person in the clothes as the name on the label. It takes two to tango and it takes two to make the dress!

Lent, Day 19: Can fear be deliberate?

Do we choose to be afraid? Not things like bugs, heights, or small spaces. But fear of rejection, the future, the unknown or uncontrollable... Doesn't God tell us He's got it ALL under control, it's ALL in His more than capable hands? So why do we worry? Why are we so afraid of what might happen? Or if what He promised will actually happen? It's something I struggle with because I want to feel in control of my situation, my life. But none of us are ever completely in control, if we were it would be a very different world I think. Pastor Zack prayed that God help us overcome our willfull fear this morning and it opened my eyes to my own willfull anxieties. And that reminded me of how He really is my friend that exposes and teaches. I know He is teaching me how to live without fear, in fact He's already told me that is a huge part of my journey to and during school in Australia. Not to mention that my favorite verse has always been 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Lent, Day 18: He was here

Been there, done that...
I have been where you are,
I have seen what you see.
Do you not believe me?
Can you not see?

I was betrayed,
Suffered heartache and pain.
I took it all for you,
Became the lamb that was slain.

So please don't forget,
Don't just walk away;
I'll carry your burdens,
Day after day!

Lent, Day 17: Thoughts on Stewardship

Can you tell I like quotes? What can I say, I love being enlightened and inspired by great minds... So, here are some quotes about stewardship - something I think we believers brush over.

"Tithing is not about you giving 10%, it's about you contributing to the ministry of the community around you." - Jeremiah Bolich

"Where I was born and where and how I have lived is unimportant. It is what I have done with where I have been that should be of interest." - DL Moody

"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you. Be careful what you do with the best you have. Whenever you get a blessing from God, give it back to Him as a love gift. Take time to meditate before God and offer the blessing back to Him in a deliberate act of worship. If you hoard a thing for yourself, it will turn into spiritual dry rot, as the manna did when it was hoarded. God will never let you hold a spiritual thing for yourself; it has to be given back to Him that He may make it a blessing to others." - Oswald Chambers