Tribute to Gramma

It has been far, far too long. I so hoped to form a habit of updating after writing every day during Lent - I guess that didn't happen. Well, the story of the last six months can be summed up to not much happening, until the last month or so when life got busy, as it often does this time of year. But moving on to the reason I'm finally updating: tomorrow morning is my Gramma 'Nette's funeral and I wanted to create my own memorial of her beautiful life! Here's my tribute to Gramma:

On Monday, December 10, I was told that my Gramma 'Nette was dying and the doctors only gave her two days to a week. After crying off and on throughout the day, I knew it was time to sit and reflect on the joy of knowing my God given grandmother. You see, Gramma 'Nette is not my blood relative, she is not "legally" my grandmother. As she puts it, my father is her "chosen child." God put them together when my dad needed a mother and my Gramma needed a son. And, let me tell you, our families have been one ever since - from accepting my mother as a daughter when my dad chose her to helping raise my sister and I as her grandchildren. It turns out there are times that LOVE is as good as blood!

Anyway, as I lay awake Monday night, praying and contemplating visiting 'Nette in the morning, God gave me a vision. I was trying my best to not cry becaues Gramma always told us to celebrate at her funeral as she lived a blessed, happy live and she would be with her Lord in heaven, so there would be nothing to cry about. Well, I began to picture her in heaven - Jesus bouncing on his toes as He awaits her with a set of keys, a group of angels prepares a grand feast in the kitchen of her mansion, a stunning gown is laid out on the bed in her master bedroom... She walks toward her beloved Savior and I hardly recognize her, for she looks to be barely 18 years old and the youth and vitality that life on earth stole over time is refreshed and renewed as her face radiates in the glory of His love! I had goosebumps as this vision sent me into a sleep more peaceful than I could have imagined on a night like that. All I can say is thank you Lord for such an amazing Gramma and for such a powerful image of what you have in store for her!!

3 Things...

So tonight I was asked “For what three things would you like to be remembered?” It’s a question I have often thought of, but for which I never settled on an answer. Well, to answer the person who asked I had two out of three:

1. That people would not just label me as a “Christian” because of my religious beliefs but because of my lifestyle – that there’d be enough evidence to prove my love for Christ by the people He touched through me.

2. As selfish as I feel saying it, that I make some sort of name for myself in the fashion industry, though it’ll all be His doing and I’ll give Him full credit as I already do…

But #3 just didn’t come to mind in the moment. I’ve learned that some things, often some of the best, wait until the dead of night to come to mind. Or maybe I’m just a night owl. Anyway, I was headed to finish a good book and go to sleep around 2:30 am but just couldn’t do it. Instead I stayed downstairs, finished the book, and fell asleep on the couch while contemplating the book and what my future may hold. When I woke up around 3:45 am I slumped upstairs only to crawl into bed for the night still feeling like something was unfinished. Well, after turning out the lights at 3:59, I laughed that earlier I felt like I wouldn’t be asleep by 4 and laid down. That’s when it hit me…

3. I want to be known for stories. Story is what has always attracted me and what I’ve always longed for. So I want people to know that I loved hearing stories, that I lived a great story, and that I told stories. Especially that first and forever story of how Christ changed and continues to change my life!

I hope that’s what I’m doing here. And I hope you tell your story, because believe you me, it longs to be heard!!

P.S. It’s 4:25 am now, but I think it was worth it. ;)

Day 7 of Holy Week: Epectations & Encounters

It's Easter! And He is Risen! Indeed!!

And... I was distracted again today. But at least I figured out what it is that's really got me unfocused - today I realized that both on Friday and this morning I was waiting to experience Him so I knew I would have something great to write about! Have you ever diminished the experience of something by anticipating it? Like you fill your head and your heart with so much expectation that when the event happens you feel like saying, "That was it...?" That's sort of what happened this weekend. I had such high hopes for a big revelation, that my heart and mind were not prepared to accept anything less. So, though Pastor Z's messages were revelatory, I think my mind wanted more. It reminds me of that verse in 1 Corinthians: "Since God in His infinite wisdom saw to it that the world would never know Him through human wisdom, He has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe." - 1 Cor. 1:21 (NLT).

Anyway, Pastor did have a great message this morning. He spoke about the power and significance of personal experience over knowledge. The example he gave was Krispy Kreme donuts... There is a lot of information out there about their company, about their baking process, and about their donuts. But they do not make donuts for us to just learn about them and have a head full of knowledge about Krispy Kreme and their donuts. They make donuts for us to experience them; they want us to encounter the deliciousness of their donuts. Christ is the same - He did not rise from the dead and leave the Holy Spirit with us just so we would read His Word and follow His rules. He wants us to experience Him, to encounter the Resurrection power! And what a mighty, saving, and gracious power it is!!

Day 6 of Holy Week: The Day Between...

It's the day between, the interim... And with what happened last night and what happened that first "Good Friday," I keep coming back to an amazing song by BarlowGirl. In it they proclaim that He is always with us, that we can trust His Word, even when we do not feel His presence! If you've never heard it, or even if you have, you should watch and pay close attention to the lyrics - they're pretty powerful:

Day 5 of Holy Week: Free to Wonder

Well, it's Good Friday and I've got a lot on my mind... First of all, at the beginning of our service this evening I was thinking of what it would've been like to attend the Last Supper - would I feel free to just soak up everything Christ said as He washed my feet and spoke about His coming betrayal? Or would I be weighed down by guilt as He served and loved on me? Or would I even refuse His service thinking it too lowly a task for Him? Would I even realize what He meant about the bread & wine? Or would it just confuse and worry me? All too often I think of these events - the Last Supper and Good Friday - with the Resurrection in mind, but what if I had no idea, no guarantee that Christ was coming back? I wonder if I would realize what He meant after He died so that I could trust His word and hope to see Him again. It's easy to thank Him for His death when you already know He came back. But I think I would be confused, angry, and deeply grieved if I wasn't sure of anything by His horrifying death.

The other main thing on my mind has to do with this evening's message. Our pastor gave a great message about how Christ had to die to free us from sin and death. It was heart felt and Spirit filled, but I was apparently distracted because though I knew He was present, I didn't feel His presence and Pastor Z's words were sadly just words. I hated that I was distracted and didn't experience the evening as I longed to... At the end of the service we each hammered a nail into a worn cross that Pastor Z had made years ago. Our nail was to represent something - a habit, a sin, a past event - that Christ died to free you from. It was a powerful illustration, but as I was distracted it felt like I was going through the motions as I hit my nail with the hammer. Sure, I thought of a few things that He has freed me from or that we are working together to overcome, but I didn't feel His presence in it. I know He was there and He was working, I just wish I felt something. And then, me dwelling on that, I know, was distracting me further... And yet, I feel free! I am not weighed with guilt at being distracted, though I began to be so before we sang "Mighty to Save" and I hammered that nail in! What an awesome realization: My freedom in Christ does not depend on my mental focus or my full emotional awareness of His presence!!

P. S. I just thought, that's probably how I would react to His death without the guarantee of His resurrection - I would be distracted, confused, and unfocused, though His words should comfort me and fill me with hope... And His resurrection would not depend on my awareness of His message! Praise Him!

Day 4 of Holy Week: Fulfilled in Service

Last night instead of having a lesson the youth helped hide eggs for our annual Easter Egg Hunt with the kids department. Then we waited and watched over the kids, helping them find eggs when necessary. This was a simple task, but our teens were so gracious and helpful about it. I was impressed with how willing they were to help though they knew they didn't get any of the eggs to themselves. Yet, I am not surprised, as the more time I spend with those kids the more proud I am of them! They are such a blessing to work with!

So what I want to tell you today is that if you're a member of a church and you're not volunteering any where, you should look into serving with them. And if you have no idea which department to work with, ask two questions: ask a friend where/how they think you should serve and ask the pastor (or his assistant if he has one) about where they need volunteers. I can tell you I was pretty much thrown into the two places I volunteer, and working with the youth was both something I never thought of and a little frightening! But I jumped in and though at first I felt a little out of place, I wouldn't trade the last 2 1/2 years with them for anything. They are like my little brothers and sisters and my Wednesday evenings with them are often the highlight of my week! ;)

So, you have no reason to hold back, for you too are called to serve and answering will surely bless you!

Day 3 of Holy Week: Opinion that Matters

Today I am glad my identity is in Christ. I worked hard all day, yet when I made a silly mistake (I forgot to get colored paper out of the printer) and my boss commented on it, that's all I could think about... But later I remembered who I really work for and how forgiving He is! And I was overwhelmed with His unconditional love and grace. So if you're struggling with beating yourself up for the little things, or someone is nit-picking you about a silly error, just remember who's really in control, who's opinion really matters, and who's love covers all! And be blessed and comforted by His gracious love for you!

Day 2 of Holy Week: Phoenix Fire Back-story

So the quote from C. S. Lewis' Mere Christianity about God building you into a palace reminded me of a "Phoenix Log" I wrote a while back. This is more about claiming land than building a home, but it's a similar concept. I was thinking of using this as a back-story of sorts for Phoenix Fire in case I ever actually go further with her. Please let me know what you think!

I was born into slavery; the world with it's expectations and allowances held me captive. But, one day I met a man with a flawless escape plan. He would take my place, even though they would kill him for it, and I would gain freedom! In fact, he promised that once I accepted his help, his father would adopt me and send another helper my way. This helper came with a promise as well: he was there to assist me in conquering new land for the father's kingdom. As a child of the king, this land would also be mine!
Now, this land is no ordinary land, it is heart land - it lies within my heart and conquering it bit by bit gives me a more real sense of the freedom I received when I accepted the savior's help. Each battle seems to get bigger and bloodier than the last, but the helper is very powerful and always able to provide the courage, strength, and endurance I lack.
Sometimes it is the work after the battle that is the hardest. As we rid each heart territory of its old inhabitants I struggle to relinquish control and let things go. The helper is kind and allows me time to grieve, but always reminds me of the necessity of this work. For the king, my father, wants my whole heart. And in the long run, it is better for me to hand control to him as he will use all his resources to not only protect and maintain the land, but to heal it, nourish it, and allow it to prosper. The king is good and will only allow good things to inhabit our heart land. And these inhabitants will be there to cultivate the land so my heart will flourish!

~PF

Day 1 of Holy Week: How Many Kings

It's the first day of Holy Week and the thought of Christ coming to town on a donkey is rather humbling. As I had a semi-stressful day at work I am reminded that the Lord of lords who was present at the creation of the universe humbled Himself so significantly and I am a little convicted. This makes me think of two things: 1) I should do everything as though I do it for the Lord (Colossians 3:23), and 2) the song "How Many Kings" was introduced to me as a Christmas song, but it so fits right into Holy Week & Easter. If you've never heard it, you should check it out:

Lent, Day 40: PALM SUNDAY!

It's day 40! And it's Palm Sunday!! It was a great day at church today! We had a guest speaker - a retired pastor who attends our church. He spoke about God's call on us to love the people around us! He reminded us that when the Pharisees asked Jesus about the "greatest commandment" He gave us two - the first to love God wholeheartedly and the second to love others as we love ourselves. This unasked for command is rather important as it is how we show our love to and for God! And he ended the sermon with a great old hymn that I have to share with you.

"They'll Know We Are Christians by Our Love"
We are one in the Spirit,
we are one in the Lord,
We are one in the Spirit
we are one in the Lord,
And we pray that all unity
may one day be restored:

And they'll know we are Christians
By our love, by our love,
Yes, they'll know we are Christians
By our love.

We will walk with each other
we will walk hand in hand
we will walk with each other
we will walk hand in hand
and together we'll spread the news
that God is in our land:

And they'll know we are Christians
By our love, by our love,
Yes, they'll know we are Christians
By our love.

We will work with each other
we will work side by side
We will work with each other
We will work side by side
And we'll guard each man's dignity
and save each man's pride:

And they'll know we are Christians
By our love, by our love
Yes, they'll know we are Christians
By our love.

All Praise to the Father
from whom all things come,
And all praise to Christ Jesus
His only Son,
and all praise to the Spirit
who makes us all one:

And they'll know we are Christians
By our love, by our love
Yes, They'll know we are Christians
By our love.

Lent, Day 39: Brotherly Love

So, Saturday got the better of me... I wish I could say it was a crazy busy day, but it wasn't all that busy. We went grocery shopping, which always takes longer than I'd like. And while we were out I texted a friend who is like a brother about making him some fried plantains next weekend if he was free. Well, he surprised me by inviting himself and his roomie over as they were craving them like crazy and had already been trying to find a way to make some. So we quickly finished our shopping, adding a couple extra burgers to our cart, and raced home to tidy up before Frank arrived. It was late by the time we got home, but even later, like around 10:15-10:30 when he finally got there. I had begun to fry some plantains I bought, but I was so glad when he brought some of his own as I had no idea what to look for and bought green plantains! His were pleasantly yellow. And he, thankfully, took over the frying for me too! By the time we finished watching "Despicable Me" and they were heading home, they had bellies full of burgers and fries and a tupperware full of plantains for their dorm. And, though it added a little stress to my evening as hosting guests always does, I truly enjoyed the opportunity to be a sister to my friend! It was also great to get a dose of brotherly love in return! That's all I have to leave with today - it is such a privilege to get to love God's people, His creation! Just a reminder that the palace He's building is not just for Him, but for every kind of guest that needs love.

Lent, Day 38: More Lewis

And for this busy Friday, more C. S. Lewis... He's just so good! Today's thoughts are more on the changes God makes when we let Him. I read these online and had to share!

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.”

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” - from Mere Christianity

Lent, Day 38: The Love of a Friend

I feel like I'm running out of things to talk about... Maybe it's just me having to get used to updating on a daily basis. Either way... I've been reading "The Four Loves" and it has reminded me of how much I enjoy reading C.S. Lewis. He really was a brilliant man. So today I will leave you with some of his quotes on love and friendship that will hopefully make you think.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” - from The Four Loves

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” - from The Four Loves

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”

“Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness.”

Lent, Day 36: Music says it all

Yesterday's subject of Christ as my beloved is still running around my mind. And as a lover of music, especially that which points me toward heaven, I thought I'd share a couple songs that remind me of Him. I hope they touch your heart - enjoy!

"Make You Feel My Love" by Adele:

"All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera:



"Anchor" by Mindy Gledhill:

Lent, Day 35: Romantic Notions

Okay, so I have not completely given up my romantic notions as some call them. Let's face it, I would be a very different person if I did. But instead of desperately obsessing over a husband, I have begun to delve into God's romantic heart for me. Instead of thinking of prayer and reading the Word as an obligation that I should make a habit, I have begun to see it as a rendezvous with my love. And instead of praying as though I'm speaking to a friend, I converse with my bridegroom. This has done wonders for me! Though I still sometimes daydream of my life with my future husband, I am not constantly obsessing over it. I can face the day knowing I am loved, sought after, and longed for, and that that will never change.

Some may say, and I'll admit I struggled with it too, how can I resolve a desire for a husband with a "romantic" relationship with Christ. Well, while this concept does still baffle me, I do have some thoughts on the matter. God invented marriage as a means for us to further understand both the Holy Trinity and one of the many ways He relates to us. So it follows that experiencing the bonds of earthly marriage will only strengthen my grasp on my relationship with Christ. Also, and this is probably my oddest revelation on the subject, but my "romance" with Him is unique in that it wants to be shared. I know that sounds wrong, but it is a reminder of the trinity again. (This revelation really has me wondering how guys relate to God as the lover of their soul - something I've contemplated for a long time!) And lastly, God knows, and I feel safe in saying He even placed, that desire in my heart. I know that it is part of His will for me, but I am grateful that He is with me for the journey both before and after Mr. Right comes our way! ;)

Lent, Day 34: Still Free

I am so thankful for the freedom I have in Christ! And, as I shared before, though I have experienced His power to overcome a few times before, I never truly felt free from my struggle with lust (because let's face it, that's what obsessing over romance is, or at least leads to) until my weekend in Lubbock. Today I had to remember that freedom does not mean I won't be tempted; in fact today it apparently does not even mean I won't give in... You see, today I slipped up and gave in; but I surprisingly do not feel any less free. As I quickly repented and shifted focus I realized that the power of the Holy Spirit helped keep me from the chains of sin! So I was not ensnared in the cycle again, but remained free in Christ! Today I have to thank and praise Him for that!!

Lent, Day 33: Give God the Glory!

I can't believe how quickly Lent has gone by - we only have a week until Palm Sunday! And it's the last Sunday in March already!! Which, at least for Euless Nazarene Church, means it's "Give God the Glory" night! (If you're scratching your head, I'll explain. We have set aside the last Sunday of every month as an evening of praise, worship, and testimony. It's a night to share what Christ is doing in your life and to be encouraged by His work in the lives of others, all between great praise music. And to top it off we celebrate that month's birthdays and anniversaries with finger foods and fellowship after service!)

It was a great GGG night as a hand full of people spoke about God answering prayer by providing extra gas, healing a cousin after a horrific car accident, and comforting them as they faced a rough patch. And then a lady on our worship team shared about how she felt privileged to share God's love and provision with a man at Hobby Lobby. What I loved about her story was that as the man repeatedly asked why, her only response was that God loves him! The man was so touched by her gesture (she shared an extra coupon) that he got flustered and had to walk around the store a little more before he could leave! What an awesome picture of how to share the love of God in a personal way!!

P.S. Last night's party was pretty great! Rachel had a blast! And was surprised by a few friends that were able to make it, so I guess it was a success!! :)

Lent, Day 32: More lovely quotes

As you know, it was my sister's 30th birthday on Thursday, and tonight we celebrate with friends!! I tried to make it a surprise, but she clued in so only bits and pieces will be a surprise for her... I can't wait, I know she's going to have a great time! With this on my mind and making me rather busy, I'm turning to quotes again today. I hope these touch your heart and make you think:

"Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey...Love burns for longer and warms you up on the inside and sometimes it makes you do stupid things. Tequila just makes you wasted." - Jackson Rathbone

"Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul." - St. Aurelius Augustine

"Love is a fabric which never fades, no matter how often it is washed in the water of adversity and grief." - Unknown

"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde

"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities." - Janos Arnay

"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." - Roy Croft

Lent, Day 31: Unique & Personal

I've been thinking about the subject of sharing the message of salvation. And I've come to the conclusion that while it's great to have some "methods" or analogies in mind, we must remember that our God is personal, so everbody's relationship with Him and experience of His love will be personal and unique. This is why I know I am not cut out to be a door-to-door, tell every stranger I meet kind of evangelist. I feel it's better to know who you're speaking too. This way you can share a part of Christ that has both spoken to you and will speak to them. At that international leader's conference I mentioned before, J. John spoke and he shared this analogy that truly touched my heart and totally syncs with my heart message to other women... Enjoy!

Lent, Day 30: Issuing the Invitation

With yesterday's subject, I thought it only fitting to share one "method" of speaking to someone about Christ. For some reason it makes me think of the 1995 movie version of "Sense and Sensibility" when Colonel Brandon (played brilliantly by Alan Rickman) meets Elinor and Marriane on the road and excitedly says, "I've come to issue an invitation!" Oddly Brandon is very much like Christ as he desperately longs for Marriane's acceptance, knowing she is distracted by her infatuation with another... Anyway, I love Ps. J John's explanation of the his invitation analogy in this article: http://www.citynews.sg/2012/02/canon-j-john-what-have-you-done-with-jesus-invitation/. Here's the best part in case you don't want to read the whole article:

What is Christianity?

"Think of it like an invitation. We appreciate an invitation even when we can’t go, because it’s nice to know that someone thought of inviting us," said Canon J. John in his introduction to a message on salvation.

You’re Invited…

John said the three things most people want to know about an invitation are firstly, who is it from? Secondly, who is it for? And thirdly, what is it about?
Drawing from the famous piece of Scripture, John 3:16, the speaker told the congregation that the invitation is from God, delivered to all of mankind through Jesus Christ.
"When I say, you’ve been invited by Jesus Christ, most people would simply nod nonchalantly. But if I say the Queen of England is inviting you to tea at Raffles Hotel, I’m sure you would try to slip that bit of information into any conversation you are having.
"But I tell you, there will come a day where every queen, every king and prime minister who had ever held office will bow before Jesus Christ and say to Him ‘You are King’, because He is the King of Kings. Your invitation is coming from Him today!"
In Matthew 11:28, Jesus gave an invitation to all who are weary to come to Him. John paraphrased it for today’s people: "Come to Me if you are burned out, stressed out, sick and tired or sick and tired of being sick and tired!"
At a lecture he once gave, a student challenged John with this: "Isn’t Christianity just a crutch?" John replied, "Yes, it is—because we are all broken."

... John asked what everyone in the room had done with their invitation from Jesus—had they RSVP’d? "If you accept, you become the invitation. You become the Bible to people—are you good news or bad news?" he challenged.

Though I would recommend reading the whole thing, it's pretty great. :)

Oh, and P.S. It's my sister's 30th birthday today! Happy Birthday Rach!!

Lent, Day 29: Just love them as He does

Well, it looks like I'm not the only one who carried home the commission to spread the Good News... Our youth pastor has put his lesson plan aside to teach and discuss with our teens how to "win people to Christ." Now, while I really like this idea and I hate to sound mean and critical, I hate that phrase! It makes evangelizing sound like a game or competition with people as some sort of prize. Yes, salvation is a gift with the prize of eternity in heaven. And the Bible says all of heaven rejoices whenever someone repents (Luke 15:7). But, I have very little to do with someone making that choice - all I can do, in fact, is show the love of Christ in the way I live, point to Him when asked about the blessings in my life, and tell them how they can have Him too. I have learned that after that it's up to the Holy Spirit and all I can do is pray. So, having the mind set that I can win someone to Him just leads to stress and feelings of defeat or guilt if someone does not immediately accept Christ as Lord. We cannot beat ourselves up because of someone else's decision, we can only love them as Christ does.

Lent, Day 28: Freed to set free!

I finally posted about Y-A-R!! I have to admit that I'm still getting back into the swing of things after such an amazing weekend... There are times when I wish we could just stay hold up in a state of praise and encouragement as a body of believers. But then I am reminded of the changing, healing, and saving power of Christ's love and the urgent commission He gave us to share His love with the world. How can I selfishly stay locked away with my Kingdom family when I have an open invitation of adoption for the world?! I find I cannot, will not keep His love to myself; I must share it with all who I claim to love!

Lent, Day 27: Victorious!

Ps. Noe's reminder that we are overcomers has been resonating with me. You see, it's not the first time I've been taught about or reminded of the power of heaven that's been placed in us. The first time was at a woman's conference when Ps. Betsy DeTeirre reminded us of the significance of our "clothing." She pointed out that the Bible tells us that God removes our robes of shame and guilt only to replace them with robes of righteousness and overcoming! And to emphasize this she had us stand, picture the things that weigh us down with guilt and shame as we "removed" that robe, and then remember Christ's resurrection and any time that He has helped us overcome as we "put on" this regal robe. This was a pretty amazing experience and it's not very often that we think about the attitude we're wearing! Not to mention, spiritual clothing is not often talked about, but it's very Biblical.

But, Ps. Noe's marching demonstration really reminded me of an amazing experience at an international conference for leaders. It was at the beginning of this conference that the founder of C3Church sense we needed to battle before we got the week started. So he reminded us that the power and authority that raised Christ from the dead lives within us! Then he had us stand, grab our swords from our scabbards, thrust them in the air, and give our loudest, fiercest battle cry as we pictured the Holy Spirit conquering the demons that were holding us back! Let me tell you, that conference room was loud as hundreds of us cried out with the power of heaven and slayed whatever was in our way! It truly was an overwhelming experience of overcoming!! And, after our voice died down, Ps. Phil proclaimed our victory as he said he could almost smell the blood of the demons that were slain! (A bit graphic, but the Bible tells us it really is a battle.)

Lent, Day 26: Overcomers with Christ

I can't believe Y-A-R is already over! This weekend went by all too fast as we enjoyed basketball and volleyball games, talent competitions, and late night dodgeball championships. And, to top that off, it was a far too short, shared experience on the mountain with Christ! Ps. Noe didn't give a long message this morning, but reiterated his point that we are not condemned, we are overcomers in Christ! To take this point home for us, he had us come forward and begin marching around the room. After we marched all the way around, he had us come forward again and raise our hands and declare our freedom as overcomers. Following this we had more praise and worship which no one wanted to end as we had the band do two encore songs! This celebration was an amazing, encouraging, and powerful way to end the weekend!! And a great message to carry home with us!

Lent, Day 25: Free to Pray

Tonight was another incredible night! Ps. Noe spoke more about the freedom Christ gives us. As he referenced Romans 7 and 8, I felt as though God was speaking directly to me. You see, after I recommitted last night and I had an incredible experience with the Holy Spirit as He filled me with a real sense of freedom from my sins and my preoccupation with romance coming my way... After that, almost immediately after in fact, I saw a fellow youth worker who happens to be my "type" and I began to daydream about the possibilities! So I can totally relate to Paul in Romans 7:14-25 as he describes his struggle. But, Romans 8:4-14 gives us hope and reminded me that I am a child of God - as long as I recognize where my thoughts are taking me and seek His help to cut them short, I am allowing His Spirit full control over my heart and life. I just have to do my part so that together the Holy Spirit and I can take every thought captive. It's not easy, especially as a hopefull romantic with a tendency to dream; but I know that obsessing over possibilities and day dreams generally leads me to selfish thoughts and actions instead of pointing me to heaven and God's will. So, it's definitely a challenge, but it's so worth the effort and collaboration!

Anyway, the end of service was what really made it an amazing night... Ps. Noe still had the youth ministers and workers/volunteers on his heart, so he had all of us come up front for the senior pastors to pray over us. After this he had every youth group join their pastors & volunteers for a time of corporate prayer as a youth group. Our little group of 13 got together and truly prayed from the heart. We were all praying out loud at the same time for the first time that I remember and the Holy Spirit was so present it was overwhelming! We ushered in the Kingdom of God in a very real way!! And to see and hear our kids call out to their heavenly father was so amazing!

(Pray for us that we share this incredible experience; that we don't just let it happen and move on, but let it change us and tell people about it!)

Lent, Day 24: Set Free

So, I didn't intend for these Y-A-R posts to read like journals, but that's the easiest way to share what I took from the day... Tonight was incredible! The guest speaker spoke from Romans 6 about how we are not to continue sinning after we are saved and about how Jesus conquered sin and death, once and for all. He encouraged us to truly give up the things that distract us in our relationship with Christ and to allow Him to make us truly free. At the end of his sermon, Pastor Noe spoke not only to the kids there, but also to the youth pastors and volunteers. He called out to those of us that were feeling burned out after years of service, those that were about ready to quit, and those that felt they weren't doing anything in their ministry. He asked us to respond to the heart tug of the Holy Spirit so He could refresh us, uplift us, and encourage us. He reminded us that we are making a difference and we cannot give up.

Now, I have only worked with the youth for about 2 1/2 years, so I don't exactly feel burned out. But, as I was kind of thrust into this ministry, I do often feel that I'm not doing much or really effecting the lives of our teens. Well, I had already been feeling a tug of war in my heart after Ps. Noe's message, but his encouraging words almost had me racing to the alter! I needed to re-commit to a life of repentance and freedom and I needed refreshed and encouraged by the Holy Spirit. And, man, what a refreshment! After all those who came to be refreshed or to accept Christ as their savior had been prayed over we went straight into praise and worship! It was so great to praise up front, surrounded by young people that had just made a radical move for Christ!!

Lent, Day 23: God Moves

It's only day one of Youth-A-Rama here in West Texas and already God is moving and lives are changing. Over a dozen teens gave their lives to Christ at the end of service tonight! I am so excited to see what more He has waiting for us!!

On a slightly different note, I wanted to share a song with you. One of our sponsors played it on the road to Lubbock and, as it really relates to the theme of our guest speaker's messages, it kind of set the tone for the weekend! I hope you enjoy it and it speaks to you:

Lent, Day 22: Perfect Love

On the subject of love from yesterday, I wanted to share my favorite passage of scripture:

"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.
If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters."

- 1 John 4:16-21 (NLT)

As a woman that struggles with fear, this passage has always been uplifting. To think that His perfect love drives out, expels, banishes fear and any reason to fear!! And that we can truly trust in His love as He fills us with that perfect love and confident hope in Jesus. But we cannot, must not forget the call to show our love for Him by loving His creation. So, I challenge you to accept the perfect love of God, allow Him to change you by and through that love, and go out and share that love with His beloved creation!

P.S. Tomorrow I leave with our youth group for a youth based conference in Lubbock, TX. I am very excited to see what God has planned for all of us as we share the weekend with him. But, as I'll be pretty busy, I probably won't be posting until Sunday evening or Monday. I do plan on writing, I just won't be able to post right away.

Lent, Day 21: Pure Love

Can you believe we're halfway through the season of Lent?! And I was looking more carefully at the calendar, and I had it wrong. Lent ends on Palm Sunday when "Holy Week" begins. So it'll be more like 47 posts for me as I can't imagine not posting during that week.

Anyway, yesterday I was inspired by the idea of love, marriage, and God's beautiful plan of purity - this all came from a great video someone posted on Facebook. I know I've shared a lot of videos recently, but I feel some of you may need to hear this. Not to mention they sum up my feelings on the matter so well!

Lent, Day 20: Powerful Speech

Since we just spoke about worship I thought maybe we should discuss language/speech today... As an artist dabbling in the world of writing, words and language are rather important to me. But to the world at large, or maybe it's mainly in big English speaking countries, I feel that words have begun to lose their significance. If you're not so sure of this, you should ask an average teenager to define an intermediate level word like "ensconce" or "rescind." Or you can ask to have a look at a couple of their text messages.

"If our vocabulary dwindles to a few shopworn words, we are setting ourselves up for takeover by a dictator. When language becomes exhausted, our freedom dwindles – we cannot think; we do not recognize danger; injustice strikes us as no more than ‘the way things are.'
Some of the Ayia Napa delegates came from countries ruled by dictators, either from the right or the left. In both cases, teachers are suspect; writers are suspect because people who use words are able to work out complex ideas, to see injustice, and perhaps even to try to do something about it.”
- by Madeleine L’Engle

Though I have always been a book worm, fascinated by language and linguistics, it's been in the last ten years or so that I have truly begun to understand the significance of words. And, contrary to the old saying, words are rather powerful and can hurt or encourage deep within. In fact, the Bible tells us that God spoke things into existence! So words have the power to create, to awaken, to give life. And as children of the King, we have a great responsibility to create peaceful, loving atmospheres and relationships as we are called to share the love of God - we can do this just by the way we speak and the things we say!

"We need to be careful what we call ourselves and what we speak over ourselves because words have power. We must decide to agree with God's views and not the devil's views about who we are. ... With our tongue we can either bless or curse ourselves and others."
- Making Your Mess Your Message by Betsy de Thierry

So, I said all that to remind you to speak positively about yourself, about life, about God, and especially about others. You'll be amazed how doing this, even for those people you don't care for, will change the way you see the world and yourself.

Lent, Day 19: All Creation Sings

Our pastor shared this video with us before speaking about worship today. I know we all worship in different ways, but as a budding vocalist/worship leader, music is my favorite way to worship. Music has always spoken to me, always made me feel more alive and closer to heaven, and always filled me with confident hope. So, obviously, music is very near and dear to my heart as it speaks of beauty, freedom, and love. Maybe because of this, this video gave me chills and made me so excited to sing along! Or maybe it's just amazing to learn that the vastness of creation cries our to glorify God!

Lent, Day 18: Fashion & Beauty

Today fashion has been on my mind as I went around the mall with my sister. So many women would probably agree with me that going shopping does not always make you feel beautiful. For me, trying on piece after piece and only finding two or three that look good is actually pretty discouraging. I think this is why we shop together - that way we have someone there to encourage you when you are about "shopped-out" as my sister and I say.

Thinking of this made me hope all the more for a boutique of my own. I want to fill women with confidence, acceptance, and hope the moment they walk in the door. And from there they are no longer shopping, we are embarking on an adventure together to discover, unveil, and awaken their beauty! I cannot wait for the opportunity!!

"Clothes are the like the wings of birds." - Korean proverb

Lent, Day 17: Beauty that Invites

I think I am a little burned out on the subject of Lent, repentance, and sacrifice. So, I'd like to start discussing other things, and as this was initially a blog about beauty - about recognizing your own beauty and learning to see the beauty of our Father's creation - I'd like to share about beauty today.

"I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me - dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder.”

- Emma Watson

This quote is so inspiring! I totally agree with Emma: a conservative beauty is mysterious and rather alluring. This beauty invites the observer to get to know her personally, rather than just admire her physically. And how encouraging it would be if we all lived this way! If we only revealed enough of our beauty to invite others to know the real us and not just our outer facade. I truly believe this would be a much less critical world that fills girls with confidence and hope rather than self-criticism and bitterness. Oh, what a sight that would be!

Lent, Day 16: Forgiveness

Once again our youth pastor's message reminded me of a great point to share. His message was about forgiveness - how we should be forgiving and seek forgiveness not only from God, but anyone we have wronged. This made me think, Lent should not only be focused on repentance and leaving one habit for another, better one, but it should also be about forgiveness.

As we confess our sins and repent by turning our backs on them, we are seeking forgiveness from God. One things we must remember is the He does forgive us. Instead of fussing over rituals to relieve our guilt, we must have faith and accept that He forgives us by His grace and that it is only by His power that we can truly turn from sin. Sometimes to truly accept His forgiveness we must forgive ourselves.

And then there's the idea of forgiving others and seeking forgiveness from our neighbor. The Bible tells us that if we are asking God for forgiveness and remember a brother has something against us we must first seek his forgiveness before coming to God. It also tells us that we cannot be forgiven if we cannot forgive. Truly unforgiveness not only drives a wedge between you and another person, but also between you and your heavenly father. And who does a grudge benefit but the enemy as it allows him to lay bitterness on your heart. So, I say let the binds of bitterness drop, forgive those who've hurt you, and allow God to grow a bridge of love from you to them through Him!

Lent, Day 15: Quotes for inspiration

It seems I am a little under-inspired this week, so today all I have to share with you are a few random, interesting quotes for inspiration:

“Doubt your doubts before you doubt your beliefs.” – Chace Crawford

“What lies before us & what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. When we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.”

- H.D Thoreau

“Hope is passion for what is possible.”

- Søren Kierkegaard quoted in Contagious Compassion

“Compassion, at it’s heart, means willingly taking another’s pain as our own – serving those who will never be able to repay in any way.”

- Neil B. Wiseman in Contagious Compassion

“I truly believe God is ready to do tremendous things through all of us if we are willing to endure the journey to get there.”

- Smoke That Thunders by Gary D. Sidle

Lent, Day 14: He inhabits the praise of His people

My Gramma is doing much better and got to go home today. And... as I praise Him for keeping watch over and healing my Gramma, Psalm 22:3-5 (KJV) seems to sum things up nicely:

"But you are holy, O you that inhabit the praises of Israel.
Our fathers trusted in you:
they trusted, and you did deliver them.
They cried unto you, and were delivered:
they trusted in you, and were not disappointed."

Lent, Day 13: Let Him overwhelm you...

Today I am glad to put my faith in a God of miracles, a God that heals, that cares, that comforts. I am praying for a miracle of healing in my Gramma's life, along with a few other friends that need His healing touch. And I am praying that if you've never known His caring, comforting, healing presence that He would reveal Himself to you today.

That's it for today, just that His love would overwhelm your spirit today.

Lent, Day 12: Overwhelming...

I absolutely love Kari Jobes' song, "The More I Seek You." We sang it this morning, and, as it always does, it filled me with a sense of peace and comfort as His love truly overwhelmed me!! As my point to ponder for today, here are the lyrics:

The more I seek you,
The more I find you.
The more I find you,
The more I love you.

(Chorus)
I wanna sit at your feet,
Drink from the cup in your hand,
Lay back against you and breath,
Feel your heart beat.
This love is so deep,
It's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace,
It's overwhelming.
(repeat from top)

(Bridge)
from: It's overwhelming,
Oh, my Love, your love
Is overwhelming me
Overwhelming
(repeat chorus)

Lent, Day 11: I Hate Religion, But I Love Jesus

I went to visit my Gramma in hospital today - she's been having heart problems. So, with her condition on my mind I am at a loss as to what to post. Please join me in prayer that she heals soon and does not have to have another invasive procedure to do so. And, I know this video has been circulating, but I thought it pertained to yesterday's post and would leave you with something to contemplate:

Lent, Day 10: Relationship vs. Religion

On Wednesday we discussed Lent with our youth group and I thought of something that I don't think I've mentioned here yet. While our youth pastor spoke he mentioned that when we fast we often begin to think that just giving up that little thing will make us right with God. We remember that "faith without works is dead" (James 2:17), and so we say, "Well, I'm sacrificing this or that, so I must be in good with God. I'm glad that's all I need to do."

But with this attitude we are completely disregarding that God would rather have relationship over religion any day! He wants to know us and be known by us, not to just know that we followed some procedure that makes us look like we know Him. He wants to work within us and change us so that we begin to want to sacrifice the things of this world to know Him better. As He said in Hosea 6:6, "I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings."

I say all this not to imply that practicing Lent, or any other season of fasting, is bad or offers nothing for our relationship with God. I just believe that we must check our motivations in fasting. We should not just give something up, but replace it with acts of worship, whether that's singing His praises, reading His word, serving His people, or having a quiet conversation with Him. And, hopefully, in doing this we create new, refreshing, and sustainable habits of worship.

Lent, Day 9: "It's called the Church! Have you heard of it?"

Over the last few days as I've contemplated what I should share with you I keep thinking of this great quote from a hilarious, amazing minister named J. John. I've posted the quote below, it's a fantastic way to define the church. But this quote, along with a few others from him, is better seen and heard because he is quite funny! So, here's a video introducing J. John; the quote for today is the first little segment:



“I sat next to this lady on an airplane at Heathrow airport and I said, ‘Hello!’ and she said, ‘Ooh hello.’ And I said, ‘Where are you going?’ and she said, ‘Well I’m going to Singapore’ then she said, ‘Where are you going?’ and I said, ‘I’m going to Perth, Australia’. I said, ‘What do you do?’ so she told me, then she said, ‘What do you do?’ and I said, ‘Well... I work for a global enterprise’ She said, ‘Do you?’ I said, ‘Yes I do’ I said, ‘We've got outlets in nearly every country of the World. We've got hospitals and hospices and orphanages. We do marriage work; we've got feeding programmes; we’ve got reconciliation work; we've got justice work.' I said, ‘Basically, we look after people from birth to death and we deal in the area of behavioural alteration.’ She said, ‘Wow!’ She said, ‘What’s it called?’ I said, 'It’s called the Church, have you heard of it?”

Lent, Day 8: Give up your small ambitions

On Sunday we had guest speakers at church and they gave a great message about missions and how we are all connected through the love and grace of Jesus. This is very encouraging; it's good to know that we are a part of the big picture, the grand adventures, as we send funds, letters, and prayers in support! But that is not what sticks out the most in my mind.

As they began their story, this missionary couple talked about what helped them decide to pack their bags and move to Papau New Guinea. When they were at college they heard a quote from Francis Xavier that stated, "Tell the students to give up their small ambitions." And, though they were a young married couple with great jobs that would lead them through their future plans, they got a call about a need on the other side of the world. As they considered answering the call they felt God reminding them to "Give up your small ambitions." So, they worked in the mission field for two years not knowing what life would look like when they came back to the states. But God is faithful, and after their life changing experience overseas, they came back and both of them found great jobs in their chosen field that keep them fulfilled and allow them to continue to pursue His purpose!

Well, as they spoke they reminded us that God is ready to give us so much more than we can think or imagine if we are willing to put Him first and let go of our plans. So, what are your small ambitions? Maybe there's something, some part of "the plan," He's waiting for you to give up so you can live a life fulfilled!

Lent, Day 7: All at War

So, today I totally know how Paul felt when he wrote about the war between our fleshly will and our redeemed, spiritual will. If you've never read it, you should read Romans 7:14-25. Paul does an amazing job describing this battle of wills and how it seems inevitable which nature wins. But, freedom can be found, as he states in verse 25, "Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord."

This revelation gives me hope, yet today it really seems to be a struggle. I feel like all this talk of repentance and true freedom brought me to a high place, a mountain top, but, being the silly human I am, I looked down. And now it's like the battle has started all over! Anyway, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to weigh today's post down with my struggles. In the midst of all this I have downhere's "All at War" stuck in my head. Here's a video for you to enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2d5WKgxs9c

Lent, Day 6: Well or Whole - Ps. Simon McIntyre

And then there's today, and I have no big revelations or inspiration. All I can think to do is reference another blog by a great pastor about a wholeness that can only be experienced by those living a life with Christ. So hopefully you'll read and be uplifted: http://simonmcintyredotnet.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/well-or-whole-whats-the-difference/

Lent, Day 5: All Things Are Possible!

So I know I'm a day late in posting this... What can I say, Sundays are a bit busy! Anyway, all day yesterday I struggled with what to write for "Day 5" and all I kept coming back to is God's amazing message that nothing is impossible! He reiterated this a couple times throughout the day. One obscure example is when a lady was testifying about how blessed she is to have faith that Christ gives complete freedom from sin. This just made me think of the verse in Mark where Jesus says, "Anything is possible if a person believes" (9:23b). For I know quite a few people believe a life free from sin is impossible this side of heaven. But, praise God, it is for this very freedom that Jesus came! (See Galatians 5:1, John 8:36, & Romans 6:18)

The other major reminder He gave me was in a song as we sang, "... for in the power of your name All Things Are Possible, all things are possible, all things are possible, all things are possible, all things are POSS-I-BLE!

Lent, Day 4: He never leaves me

So it’s been one of those full, busy days where I don’t seem to think of God as often as in the most recent days. This used to really bother me, so much so that I had another reason to beat myself up. But as we discussed yesterday, that is not a helpful habit, nor is it a habit indicative of a loving God.

Tonight, as I struggled to think of something to write at the last minute, I was glad I had just remembered the extent of His grace yesterday. He helped as well when I quietly asked His forgiveness for having a less than prayerful attitude today, for hardly focusing on Him as I went about my errands. After this quick, simple prayer I was gently reminded of just how many times I thought of Him today – As I read in the car the characters reminded me of His unconditional, sacrificial love. When the sun kept getting in the way as it set I was reminded of who put it there. As “Transatlanticism” played during an episode of “Parenthood” I remembered how desperate I am for Him and His love. As I sketched capes for a friend’s wedding I remembered how grateful I am for the people He’s put in my life and for the talent and skill He gave me. And when the impossible was proven possible as my sister and I finally watched the last episode of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” I recalled all the times He has put this message in front of me over the last few weeks. After all that, how could I deny His presence in my day? How could I deny having a constant conversation with Him? And isn’t that what a prayerful attitude is all about? Praise God that once we invite Him into our day-to-day living, like a true gentleman He is always there!

Lent, Day 3: I AM FORGIVEN

So, with all this talk of repentance and turning our backs on sin, what do we do if we slip up? Is God's grace big enough to cover us when there's one vice we can't seem to shake? Is it possible to know complete freedom from sin?

Well, I don't have perfectly packaged, brilliant, and revelatory answers for these questions. In fact, they are ones I stuggle with on a regular basis, especially when it seems inevitable that I slip up. I know the Biblically based, church answers: 1) Confess and continue to seek His forgiveness, allow Him to change your heart through prayer and studying the WORD, find an accountability partner, and pray for the strength to stand firm the next time you're tempted; 2) Of course His grace covers you, He loves you unconditionally and is always ready and willing to forgive; 3) YES! Jesus declared this freedom to be the very reason He came to earth - in His resurrection He conquered death and sin! And though these answers are immensely encouraging, I often long for that complete freedom so desperately that I really beat myself up when I happen to slip. But I know that guilt and shame are not from God, in fact they are often traps from the Devil. They are his way of zapping our hope and stealing our joy. And the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10)!

Wow, after recalling all that I have to remind myself that I AM FORGIVEN. And that the Devil is a liar and guilt and shame have no place in my heart! (Also, I little something I remember from reading Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life: we cannot just quit a habit, we have to exchange one habit for another - so you can't expect to avoid a temptation if you are constantly thinking of how to avoid it, you have to fill your life with other, more fulfilling activities! We have to shift our focus and take every thought captive!)

Lent, Day 2: Courageous Repentance

Last night the youth pastor at my church gave a very good lesson about forgiveness and repentance, and I thought it went right along with the seasonal message of Lent. Through the use of a scene from the movie "Courageous" he made a very good point that we are all guilty, yet, thankfully, Christ came to take our punishment. But does that mean when we accept Jesus' free gift of salvation that we're done? When we know we are forgiven by God is that all that we need? I have to agree with our youth pastor's answer - not at all! We must seek the forgiveness of those we have hurt, those we have sinned against and we must face the temporal, earthly consequences.

He gave this somewhat harsh, yet very valid example: if a man burst into the room right now and shot at us all, killing some and injuring others, but as he escaped he was convicted by the Holy Spirit and accepted God's forgiveness, would that be enough? Doesn't the Bible teach us that in order to live a righteous life and truly claim Christ as savior we should allow Him to CHANGE us and fill us with a desire and strength to completely turn our backs on sin, while we bravely accept the consequences of our past actions and seek forgiveness from those we hurt along the way? So, it would follow that the man in the example would need to turn himself in and face whatever consequences might come, knowing he was saved by grace and living a Christ centered life after telling the whole truth.

Along with the movie and this rather potent example, we discussed the story of Zacchaeus from Luke 19. He was a master tax collector in Jesus' day, which basically translates to a modern day scam artist or embezzler as he would take for himself a high percentage of the already extraneous earnings of the tax collectors beneath him. Or as our youth pastor put it, he stole from thieves and swindlers and was a very hated person in society. Yet this thief of thieves sought a glimpse of Christ! And Jesus didn't stop with a simple head nod of acknowledgement, He welcomed Himself into Zacchaeus' home, which led to such a shift in his heart that he repented and repaid his victims' loses plus interest! What an awesome example of true repentance that leads to lasting change which reveals the grace and glory of God!!

Lent, Day 1: Beauty for Ash Wednesday

I was researching the practice of Ash Wednesday as I've always been curious about the ritual. And yet, I don't know why I've never made the connection... In Old Testament times people used to rip their clothes and pour ashes on their head as a sign of mourning. It was a way for the penitent to express sorrow for their sins and faults or for the sins of the people. Today the ritual of forming a cross of ashes marks the beginning of Lent, a season of repentance and reflection as we offer ourselves to God through prayer and fasting.

For me ashes, much like tears, have always had a healing, renewing significance. Often the events that cause us grief break us and make us stronger. And the sins and temptations that we turn away from teach us God's grace and create divine discipline in our lives. Isaiah 61:3 promises us that God will replace our mourning with joyous blessings, our despair with festive praise, and our ashes with a crown of beauty! And just as Christ was resurrected only after dying an excruciating death, just as a phoenix rises beautiful and strong from the ashes of its death, we rise reborn and refreshed from the sorrowful ashes of repentance!

My Lenten Offering

This Sunday my pastor spoke to us about the Lenten season that starts today, Ash Wednesday, and ends with the celebration of the Resurrection on Easter Sunday. During this period believers commit to fasting certain luxuries as a form of penitence. Well, our pastor made a very good point about how we get so wrapped up in what we're giving up that we become a little self-righteous about abstaining by our own strength and for our own benefit. He reminded us that this season should be a time when we rely on God to fill us as we grow closer to Him. And, as we grow closer to Him, He fills us with His strength, power, and compassion that work together to compel us to actively care for and love His people. So, though I do want to refrain from sweets and lose a little weight, my committment this Lenten season is to break my lazy spirit and write and post something here everyday for the next 40 days! You have my permission to check in on me and get on to me if I miss a day. In fact, I woud appreciate it if you would! I pray that these posts will be words straight from the Holy Spirit, words that edify and encourage you on your journey with Christ! And, hopefully, at the end of this season I will have formed a habit and will continue to post on a more regular basis. :)

Stop hiding!

I can't believe it's been so long since I updated... I'm hoping that you, the few, the all of you who actually read this, will help hold me accountable to post at least once a month, if not once a week. Between divine inspiration, scripture, and my quotes library, I know I have the material to be posting a lot more often. So if it's been a while and I come to mind, feel free to send me a message, text me, or pick on me the next time you see me to get back to writing! I am, and always will be, so grateful for your support and encouragement!! Anyway, getting back to the real reason I'm posting - something else you can help hold me accountable to. ;)

So lately I’ve been extremely inspired. Inspired to sing, to laugh, to cry, to draw, to create… to write. In a time when I know I should be weighed down and stressed out, the God of hope has filled me up and made my heart light! And guess what, I had very little to do with it! In fact, I’ve been so wrapped up in myself as of late that I’ve hardly spoken with Him, hardly looked at His Word, and hardly put up a fight when tempted. But tonight He spoke so clearly to me that I have to respond...

I can no longer hide. I can no longer hide behind my weight, no longer eat & live to gain, because just under 300 lbs is close enough for me (a little too close actually). I can no longer hide behind a hard, sarcastic wit that keeps me from being hurt. I can no longer hide behind a secretive, defiant personal life. And I can no longer hide behind a soft-spoken, quiet-lived faith. Because Jesus freed me from the bonds of sin and death, I must live a life boasting His glory! So I long to treat my body as a temple – healthy and pure. I long to be open, frank, genuine, and transparent with everyone I meet, remembering that perfect love expels the fear of rejection. I long to live obedient to God’s Word and direction, doing nothing that needs to be kept secret. And I long to proclaim His grace, His mercy, His power, and His love to the world!! With His message to “stop hiding” I understand now that must stop living only according to head knowledge of His promises, and start truly taking them to heart. I must finally lay claim to the name He spoke over me what seems like so many years ago: I am Innocent Grace Sugarfoot, child of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies! Amen.