Lent, Day 16: Stewardship

More revival insight from Ps. Jeremiah Bolich...

In Revelation 3:7 Jesus introduces Himself as the one "who is holy and true, who holds the key of David" (NIV). What does it mean that Jesus holds this key? It is only mentioned one other time - in prophesy in Isaiah 22:22 where God is promising to remove a fame hungry steward from his role in the palace and give the "key to the house of David" to Eliakim instead. You see, Eliakim would not use his power and authority to get only himself into the Kingdom, but to get all of Israel into the Kingdom. He would see the nation as a father sees his children - he looses himself in service to them!

Stewardship is not all about money as is so often thought. It's more about Jesus asking, "Did you give to all I would give to?" Everything you have is your area of stewardship. And a good steward sees the talents and abilities they've been blessed with and embraces them and accepts that Jesus will make them a pillar of ministry where He has placed them. They respond to His guidance, "I accept responsbiblity for the place you've put me."

We also briefly discussed the book of James, specific verse 1:1 where James introduces himself as a servant. Throughout the rest of the book he refers to us and our relationship with God and each other in a family language, so why refer to himself as a servant? Paul explains that you recognize a child of God because they are servants (Philippians 2:5)! You don't serve to better yourself, but that your master might be bettered. And servant can be translated as slave, which is the lowest position in the house - this implies I'll do whatever it takes, because I want to be in your house!

Lent, Day 15: Friendship quotes

Tonight our youth pastor spoke to the teens about asking for help. He discussed the story of Joshua helping the people of Gibeon defeat the Amorites. The people of Gibeon had made a treaty with Joshua and when they were threatened they did not hesitate to ask for help from this man of God. And Joshua did not hesitate in going to God with a request to hold the sun still so they could complete the battle. The sun delayed setting for a full day! The Bible says there's never been another day like it (Joshua 10:14)!!

This discussion on asking for help reminded me of God's desire for our friendship! And so I leave you with a few quotes on the love of a friend:

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” - from The Four Loves by CS Lewis

"It is one of the blessing of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness." - Euripides

"It is only the great hearted who can be true friends. The mean and cowardly, Can never know what true friendship means." - Charles Kingsley

"When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character." - W Somerset Maugham

Lent, Day 14: Chosen friend

We recently had a revival at ENC and the guest speaker gave amazing insight that I would love to share. He spoke to us from Revelation chapters two and three where Jesus addresses the seven churches. For each church He introduces Himself with a scripture based phrase of a name that speaks to who He is, but also to who they are. He does this because He wants us to be like Him, to do the things He does. He then speaks to that specific church in their context of living, and concludes with a result He wants to see.

In verse 3:19 He states "those whom I love, I rebuke and discipline" (NIV). This is often brought up as evidence that God is not loving - how could a loving God allow the evil, the disastrous to happen? But we have to understand that He allows the consequences of our sin because He loves and He hopes it will wake us up. Picture Jesus standing between you and hell and saying, "If you really want in there, if you really want to believe the devil's perspective over mine, you're going to have to go through me! And I'm going to fight. And you're going to get bruised and beaten. And you're not going to enjoy getting in there!"

The word for love in this verse describes a friend type of love, a chosen love, a love different from the sacrificial "agape" love. This chosen, friendship love implies two people participating in a relationship. In fact, Exodus 33:11 is proof that God longs for a friendship with all of us! Also, in this verse "rebuke" can be translated to "expose" - so He exposes and teaches those He has chosen to love as friends! Instead of harsh rebuke He offers eye-opening conversation that promises to teach and edify us. So, they question remains, is Jesus your friend? Would friendship that opens your eyes and teaches describe your relationship with Him?

Lent, Day 13: Never on my own

I really enjoyed the 2012 version of Les Mis! The story of inner struggle and the search for real forgiveness is so poignantly expressed... Now I want to read the book! ;) Anyway, I like Eponine as a character and totally feel her pain as a hopeful romantic myself. Haven't we all lived the turmoil of unrequited love at some point? But this beautiful song got me thinking of my romance with The King. It is so amazing to know that I do not have to love Him "on my own," that He shares my love, that He accepts and gives His in return. And even when the night is over and the river is just a river, He loves me!! The crazy thing is, He loves you just the same! I pray He opens your eyes to your romance together as you listen to Eponine's longing...

Lent, Day 12: Give God the Glory

Tonight was Give God the Glory Sunday at our little church in Euless and it was amazing. As I make progress toward C3 College, the Lord keeps confirming that I'm headed in the right direction. And tonight was no different - almost every other testimony given had a word from the Spirit that made me go, "Okay, I know I'm doing the right thing." ... One man spoke of how amazing it is to know that the Creator of the universe stands at the door and knocks, that He longs to "sup" with us. He explained how to "sup" with someone is rather intimate, it's all about communing with them and getting to know them on a deeper level. He was amazed that God wants to not only listen to us, but to speak with us, to get to know us and to reveal Himself to us. That is exactly what He did that Sunday morning back in November! Then another person spoke about God's promise to provide. She told of how He asks the impossible, but He doesn't leave it in our hands. He says, "Do this for me." and, once we've responded, He gives us the resources to carry it out. What an awesome reminder that He will provide a way for me to accomplish all He has planned, all He has asked of me. And finally, another gentleman spoke of what a privilege it is to answer God's call. In fact, he asked us to end the evening by singing an old hymn called "Where He Leads Me," which speaks to the great trust we can have in His call, that He will never lead us astray.

It was very encouraging to hear these words from Heaven as I recorded my audition material this evening after everyone left! I so needed the uplifting of the Spirit before I faced that challenge. And that challenge became a second, miniature version of GGG night as I just praised Him while being taped. Actually, after the recording I just wanted to keep singing... I think I may have gotten the bug, so to speak. ;)

Lent, Day 11: One Thing Remains

We sang this amazing song during praise and worship this morning and I had to share! Here's a video with the lyrics because they are so, so powerful!!

Lent, Day 10: Unwrapped Mini Collection

Here are the sketches as promised. Totally feel like one of these dresses is "for" someone - I've sketched designs before and had a friend tell me they had seen themselves in that dress in either a vision or a dream. God is so good, and I know that He was the one who designed these beauties. I'd love to know if He's shown one to you before!

Oh, I'll color them and post the update soon. :)

Lent, Day 9: Help!

I need your help! I've found this amazing scholarship that does not require me to write an essay or meet specific requirements. And the great news is it would completely cover my tuition for all three years at C3 College and give me some money to put toward school loans from my time at Pratt Institute!! The scholarship works like a lottery, so the more times my name is entered the better. Here's where you come in: you can register to be my sponsor. When you become my sponsor, my name is entered into the drawing again! So, I could use as many sponsors as possible... Please follow the link below and register!

http://www.gotchosen.com/ProfileViewer/tabid/88/userId/184254/Default.aspx#

Thank you so much for your support!

Lent, Day 8: I Need Thee

Last spring a good friend gave me a piece of great advice about my debate about going to Australia, staying in the DFW area and maybe starting a business, or moving back to NYC to pursue a job in fashion. She thought of each pursuit and told me she thought I should pursue school with C3 because it was the one action where I would totally have to rely on God. The other pursuits I could do in my own strength, but not moving past my fear and finances to attend worship leadership training - I would really need Him for that. This is what I kept thinking of that Saturday in November when I kept singing "I Need Thee"...

I Need Thee (Chorus)
I need Thee, O I need Thee;
every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

Lent, Day 7: A journey of faith

In light of my last post, I feel compelled to inform you of the impossibility God has called me to pursue. First you must know that for years I debated whether or not to pursue this course of action because I wanted to be sure that it was His will and not something I thought would be a good experience. Anyway, my church in New York (C3 Manhattan) is based out of Sydney, Australia and they have a ministry training college in Sydney. Since before I lost my job in November of 2008 I thought of attending this college for worship leadership/vocal training, but I would only half-heartily look into it as I wanted to be sure it was Him directing me there.

Well, this urge to attend would happen about every six months or so - right around the time of enrollment - and I would pray for clarity while I researched the possibility. I started out thinking I'd go for the one year program and come home, but the more I thought about it the sillier it seemed to go for a year, so I looked at what the two year program encompassed and I was pretty comfortable with that idea. The longer program sounded cool, but made the stage fright grow within me as I imagined pursuing this for three years! But I couldn't get it out of my head, the idea of going to school for worship for three years... It sounds so frighteningly thrilling!

So, I "put out a fleece," so to speak. The Friday after Thanksgiving 2012 I prayed and asked God for a final bit of clarity. I needed Him to tell me one way or the other that weekend so I could either pursue attendance or move on. God is good, all the time! He quickly and completely responded to my request! Here's what happened...

That weekend my sister and I happened to be dog sitting and so on Saturday I was "stuck" with the dogs while Rach was at work. The whole day I was singing the old hymn "I Need Thee" while watching movies and snuggling with the dogs. I finished one movie and decided I wanted to watch something shorter so I perused our friend's DVR and went with an episode of Cupcake Wars. Rach and I had already watched a couple, so I started the third or fourth down the list. Well, that particular episode celebrated the career of Cody Simpson! I had no idea who he was before I started watching, but I knew God was working when I happened to pick that episode - Cody Simpson, for the rest of those who had no idea like me, is an Australian pop star!! So, the entire competition incorporated traditional Australian cuisine and decorations celebrating music and performance! It may seem too odd or small to be God, but I know that's who picked that episode on that particular day at that particular house. It just couldn't be coincidence.

And here's why... He didn't stop with an episode of Cupcake Wars, our conversation of confirmation continued that Sunday. During worship the Holy Spirit filled our sanctuary and overwhelmed us, so much so as to interrupt our plans and have our music director sing "I Need Thee" in place of our planned prayer chorus. Well, I was so overcome that I had to kneel on stage before "prayer time" actually began (which if you know me is a BIG deal, something I never did before). After we got through the song, once our pastor came up to pray, God began to speak. He reminded me of the daunting stage fright that has weighed on me, and grown, since I froze during a performance at the age of 9. He pointed out that that was almost 20 years of fear, 20 years of limitation. And just after He spoke of those 20 years, Pastor Zack was talking about how there is no statute of limitations with God, He can still work in an area where we've struggled for 20 years! What a confirmation!

Then, while we were still in prayer, God spoke to me about relocating. You see, I had been looking into moving for work and had decided that I was definitely worth relocating for the right job with the right company. So He reminded me that we had already decided that I was valuable enough for a company to relocate, why was I not valuable enough to relocate myself? And that brought up a whole other area for Him to heal as I have struggled with my inherit value to society as a writer/vocalist - would anyone really want to hear my lyrics, listen to my voice? But, in that moment He reminded me that when I'm using my words and my voice for His glory, they are of great value!

The only other question I had for Him was about the cost - how will I get there? How will I pay for school and life for three years? He just seemed to laugh and all I could respond with was, "Okay, I'll go." And still today I have to remind myself of what faith says... "I don't see how it's going to happen, but I trust you."

Lent, Day 6: Faith, the ultimate trust fall

Faith gets a sad rap these days... Not necessarily a "bad rap," but undoubtedly a sad one. Most people speak of faith in a broad, undefined sense. For example, if a friend is suffering from anything from a death in the family to financial struggles to even a lack of direction, so many of us respond with "Just have faith." Well, what does that mean? It's a term for belief in something, but if someone told me to "just believe" I think I'd be left wanting more.

The Bible defines faith as "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Heb. 11:1, NIV). This is such an amazing concept! By this definition, I do not just "believe" that what I hope for will happen and that my God is real, I am sure of it, certain in fact... I KNOW it to be true. With this knowledge, faith becomes a verb - we TRUST. Hebrews 11 offers a break down of faithful people from the Old Testament. In it we are told what these great men did to be called "faithful" - all of them said, "I trust you" when God told them about the impossible. Can you imagine? Abram was told to move, to pack up and leave his family, not knowing where God was leading him or when he would get to stop and call some new place "home." And his reaction was, "Okay." And God asked Noah to quit his regular tasks and build an enormous boat on dry land in a time before rain! And Noah said, "Sure."

This same God asks us to follow Him today. He asks us to trust that He will provide for us, satisfy our deepest desires, comfort us, deliver us, protect us, speak for and through us, etc. He longs for you to respond in faith, to look at Him and say, "I don't see how it's going to happen, but I trust you."

Lent, Day 5: Some insight on faith

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
                                      - CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

"Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right."
                                      - Max Lucado, He Still Moves Stones

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
                                      - Corrie ten Boom

"All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen."
                                      - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith."
                                      - Paul Coelho, Brida

Lent, Day 4: Big Daddy Weave - "Redeemed"

I feel like I'm taking the easy way out with all these references to other sources, but I can't help it. Psalm 130 also reminds me of an amazing song by Big Daddy Weave. If you've never heard "Redeemed," please listen to it here and now and let the message touch your heart as you claim it for yourself.

Lent, Day3: ... But you offer forgiveness!

I've been reading through the Psalms during my nightly devotionals, and this one stuck out last night. Psalm 130 reminds of this message of God revealing our nakedness, our despair, and clothing us with righteousness and glory that has been recurring for me lately. It's an amazing Psalm:

From the depths of despair, O Lord,
    I call for your help.
Hear my cry, O Lord.
    Pay attention to my prayer.

Lord, if you kept a record of our sins,
    who, O Lord, could ever survive?
But you offer forgiveness,
    that we might learn to fear you.

I am counting on the Lord;
    yes, I am counting on him.
    I have put my hope in his word.
I long for the Lord
    more than sentries long for the dawn,
    yes, more than sentries long for the dawn.

O Israel, hope in the Lord;
    for with the Lord there is unfailing love.
    His redemption overflows.
He himself will redeem Israel
    from every kind of sin.

Lent, Day 2: Unwrapped...

This poem goes along with a mini collection that came to mind late one night when the Holy Spirit basically said, "Wait!" as I tried to fall asleep. He wouldn't let me rest before I sketched an idea that sparked the mini collection and these words. I will post sketches later this week, so for now...

Unwrapped
In your presence I am undone
As you unfurl my iniquities
So we may become one;
A creature of magnificent beauty.

You unwrap my robes of selfishness,
Lust, gluttony, and deceit.
You work to uncover my nakedness
After my Self admits defeat.

Finally you wrap me in your Righteousness,
Clothe me with Overcoming Glory,
And teach me to wear Faithfulness
As you reveal my part in your story!

Lent 2013...

I want to write more for Lent again this year, but I'm a little late... So, I'm going to update twice a day for about a week to catch up. Hopefully this year I will form a habit, and it won't be another year of just 40 posts during the Lenten season. Please pray with me that that is the case.

For some reason the story of Hosea, along with the story of Jerusalem as an adulterous wife, has resonated with me lately. I think it's comforting to know that God truly loves us no matter what. And it reminds me of something I heard at Revival last week: Jesus loves us so much that he stands between us and Hell and says, "I love you. And if you want to get in there, you're going to have to go through me! It won't be easy, and you'll be a mess by the time you get there, because I'm going to fight for you!" (Isn't that the kind of love we all long for?!)

Anyway, the story of Jerusalem as an adulterous wife can be found in Ezekiel 16. If you want to read it, you can find it here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel%2016&version=NLT. I must warn you that is very blunt, and quite hard to read, but in the end His grace abounds: "And I will reaffirm my covenant with you, and you will know that I am the Lord. You will remember your sins and cover your mouth in silent shame when I forgive you of all that you have done" (Eze. 16:62-63).