Sunday, June 26, 2011

I am Beautiful...

It sounds so dreadfully cheesy to say “Who is that girl in the mirror?” Especially because it’s basically a line from a song in Disney’s Mulan. But, that is SO what I thought when I saw my reflection tonight! Lately I’ve been seeing an elegantly beautiful woman in my own reflection. I don’t really know where it came from or when I began to see myself that way. And, in answer to the question of how I began to see myself as beautiful, all I can say is, “God.” He’s the only one who could ever have changed my mind.

The funny thing is that, after admitting to myself that, even though I’m tired and my hair is rather frazzled-looking as I’m writing this at 2:30am, I am beautiful, I immediately laughed and asked God who that beauty was for! LOL! What a thing to ask your creator! It’s so silly to me that even though I can attest to the truth of it, I find the idea of me admitting and declaring my beauty to be foreign and absurd. So much so that I think it has to be for some one else. But, right now there is no one else. I must believe this, trust this for myself. And yet I feel selfish and arrogant, almost presumptuous, in doing so… Oh, God, help me to accept the gift, the blessing of not only being your beautiful daughter, but of allowing myself to accept and declare my beauty.

You may agree with me that it is arrogant, and even presumptuous, to blatantly proclaim that I am beautiful. But let me offer a little something in defense. First of all, I know that by declaring this I will not become any less humble or compassionate, I will not be placing myself above anyone else. In fact, by allowing myself to see beauty all around me, including myself, I think God has shown me a little of what He sees. Also, is it not presumptuous of us to tell our Father, our very creator that there is something wrong with us, with His creation? We have to remember that God makes no mistakes. So, your big nose and small lips, and my pale features and big hips, are all part of His glorious design! And when we can look at ourselves and declare the beauty of His work, I believe, we are actually offering Him praise!